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Top Ten Worst Video Game Adaptations Of All Time

i really love the Distressed Watcher, as seen on ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com, and i have a great respect for his film knowledge and humor. and i think that i can agree with the most of what he says, especially in comparison to all the other TGWTG staff. (see his videos here).
the last video he uploaded was his toplist of worst video game adaptations. and like with his other videos i basically agree with nearly all he said. but this time i have this great urge to add some of my opinion. because his (well thoughtout) hatred on things may have obscured his common level of objective examination. let me show you what i mean by writting down his list and commenting on everything i find worth mentioning. please watch his video first, embedded above, or follow this link. because not everything about video game movie adaptations sucked, there are exceptions, and even on his list.

10. Silent Hill

that may be the worst misplacement on the list, because this should not be on it. all the other movies on this list are placed quite fairly, but not Silent Hill.
the whole “what adapted what”-thingie (movie based on film, based on game, based on film, based on book) does not make it worse of a film. that’s completely off-topic and doesn’t say anything about the quality of the film itself. if anything it says something (bad) about the way the producers let this franchise evolve (and yes, i myself don’t like that direction either).
i agree with the opinion about the actors. they sure aren’t that good. said that this was a hard thing to accomplish, regarding the fact that SH game characters are always so deep and well-thought-out, but that’s no excuse for bad acting, is it?
and yes, the story is quite not that good as it should have been. the writers weren’t that much into the matter and everything wasn’t as deep as the games were. not even remotely. but that was, in my opinion, not the overall goal of the production. the main focus has always been to copy the atmosphere and style of the games. the viewer was meant to brought back into their SH-game-experience state, and HELL DID THIS MOVIE SUCCEEDED with this!
i myself am a huge Silent Hill fan and i think this movie did great in giving me the SH-feeling back. i got flashbacks that gave me the creeps, and that is a big accomplishment there, which i never got from any other game adaption, so far.
the style was great, camera, creep-factor, fan-service, direction, … all that was nearly perfect to me. or at least perfect enough to make it a GOOD adaptation. even though the story sucked. but that’s not the point of SH.

9. Final Fantasy

this place is totally justified. sadly enough.
beceause it actually is a really good movie – from the storyline, over the characters, up to the top-notch animation. but it’s a BAD FINAL FANTASY movie, because it’s nothing like the game franchise. what were they thinking??

8. Hitman

oh, i was SO looking forward to this one, but it sucked so hard in the end…
i think the worst bit of it is the worsed mis-casting for the lead-role EVER. Timothy Olyphant doesn’t look remotely like 47. the only thing they had in common was their bald head… they should have at least casted some OLDER 47 instead. the movie-47 could have been his bastard child, haha.
damn, this movie was bad…

7. Doom

same again, bad movie, really. bad case of mis-casting, dumb directing.
there are only three really cool things in it, and those make this movie actually watch-worthy. (maybe it should have been on place 10 instead)
1. BFG. hell yeah!
2. the soundtrack. by Clint Mansell. the score rocked so damn good, but still it sounded like the original Doom! modern instrumental rock version of Doom themes, how great is that?!
3. the 5 minutes of freaking ego perspective! woah, that was so well made, and totally worth watching on the big screen! the movie teases you the whole time with this first-person-topics, as seen on the trailer, (the characters were mounted cameras on their shoulders in the beginning, but you never saw through those cams.) but you had to wait until the end. and that was mainly the focus of the whole movie (for me). it felt to me as if they builded up the whole movie just to justify the few minutes of first-person action. but it was worth it and well made, period.

6. Mortal Kombat


5. Street Figher

yeah, this also sucked HARD.
Distressed Watcher described it quite right; the production of this movie ripped the source material apart.
but i like to see it as a parody. i mean, watch it and PRETEND it was meant to be a parody, and suddenly all makes sense, haha! maybe it was meant to be some sort of parodic homage, who knows…

4. Mortal Kombat 2

even more rubbish.

3. Double Dragon

i remember watching this as a kid, and it was so badly adapted, that it needed me like 10 more years to finally realize it was meant to be an adaption of the game, even though i already knew the game… that’s how bad it is!

2. Super Mario Broth.

so, and that is were i have to make a full-stop again, because i hate people misunderstanding this movie.
it is NOT an adaptation! it was never meant to be one. it is a movie interpreting some other material, like it was INSPIRED by the game, but not planned to adapt it in a valuable way. of course this was a bad decision in the first place. the world was mad about Mario Bros. at this time and the movie should have been a REAL adaptation instead, so people wouldn’t go apeshit about things they don’t understand.
i see this as a clever homage. and yes, i said clever there. because you know what? i think it’s a brilliant MASTERPIECE of a movie. but you can’t see that when you stick on the fact that it’s not your beloved Mario. but if you can see through that you will see a funny and well-thought-out post-apacalyptic dystopian comedy film noir, with so many Mario references, it’s hurting my brain.
seriously, why do people always say it does not resemble the mario universe at all? don’t you see the sheer MASS of “resemblements”. every time i see the movie i recognize another really cool thing about the mario universe. but it’s subtle as hell! every reference is hidden behind a really clever disguise. for example the rocket-jump-boots, which resemble Mario and Luigis ability to jump like 5 times their size in the game. heyh, that’s clever, and just because you don’t see this doesn’t that mean it’s not there! i could talk for hours (and yes, i am serious about the time-pattern) about the dozens of hidden references. (maybe i should write an short essay about it, listing everything i recognized. maybe that would convince you…)
the Super Mario Bros. movie is not an adaption. it’s an homage. and seeing the movie as what it really is, it surely IS a masterpiece, and nothing less. it’s really ignorant (sorry for the choice of words here) to judge this movie on wrong standards. you want to see it as something that it simply isn’t, and that way it sure is a crappy movie. so stop being so snobby, please. seriously.

1. Uwe Boll movies

yep, totally justified first place. of course.
but i’d like to add one comment here: Postal is great. it’s the exception from his movies.
why you ask? because it’s not your common video game adaptation. and it can’t be, because it’s not remotely as serious as all the other Boll movies.
Postal started as a self-pitiful game, and as what it was it was… already crap. lol. but heyh, in a good way. Postal is completely different from other games, with his over-the-top humor, not taking itself even a bit serious. so the big difference to other games Boll adapted is, that he had nothing to destroy! the movies could not have been crappy enough to do the game justice. i think the movie does greatly enough copy the games’ humor, and there simply was not more to accomplish. Boll could not have sucked at this, even if he wanted to. as an adaption the Postal movie is great, because it suits its source material. nothing more to say to that.
as with the other Boll movies… hell yes, they are worse than Ed Wood movies.

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last modified: 2010-Nov-29, 18:39:22
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