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Nightmare III

yet again, i had a profound dream last night. it wasn’t directly a nightmare, tho i was scared as shit and all, plus there was this whole end-of-world-scenario going on, but at this point i kinda welcomed it and the relief it brought along with it. the story was kinda surreal, but regarding the things i was/am going through everything makes sense for me, yet again.

wondered about the logo this blog entries starts with? well, read along and find out.
first thing to mention is that it was a strange combination of my non-sense unrelated dreams in which i am not in, or my friends, or scenes i know, or anything related to me, and the quite opposite! meaning, i personally was the main ‘role’ and i dreamed everything from my own perspective, first person view. but all the other characters were totally fictional.
it started with me and a person i actually knew, i think it was my brother, but that person changed after a few moments (without me realizing it at all). and the dream started in the front of my grandparents house (again? both my dreams of this months had a big change there), but also shifted to other, unknown places.

me and my brother were walking across the empty fields in front my grandparents house, as i saw something weird in the sky in the distance: some very uncommon plane tracks (you know, this condensation gases planes use to drag behind them). one of these trails was quite normal, as you would expect it to be, but two others were quite ‘jagged’, indicating the planes would fly in a way that defies physics. i said to my brothers “look, how weird is that?” and we both watched the objects approaching.
when i sight i realized that the first object was a common stealth fighter, CHASED by a strange kind of fighter jet shooting fucking LASERS at him! both flew quite straight, while another, third jet-like fighter chased both of them, shooting lasers at the second one, flying in sinus curves. than it actually shocked me realizing that the last one was a fighter from the Rebel Alliance from the Star Wars franchise! leading to the clear assumption that the second one was a fighter from the Galactic Empire!
at this point i was quite aware of the fact that those were merely fiction and could not possibly be real at all, and i had trouble accepting what the hell was going on. on another note i want to mention that i am not exactly a Star Wars fan – i love the first three movies, but that i pretty much all. i haven’t actually watched on of them for YEARS now, so i cannot really understand why i should come up with something improbable like this!

anyways, we watched the scene a bit, scarred as hell that one of the laser shots could accidentally hit us or the damaging the house or something, because the fight above our heads began to become a really wild DOG FIGHT. strange enough the lasers did not had a long range, only reaching like 100 meters and then suddenly collapsing abrupt. we ducked a few times, when they were kinda flying towards us and shot the hell out of each other, but the lasers always stopped a few meters in front of us.
when they slowly began to leave the scene and take the fight to another area, we ran scarred as fuck, kinda after them to see how it goes on, when the following happened:
we came across a field road, following it a bit for a few hundred meters. we lost the fight a bit because trees were blocking our sight. when the trees finally vanished we could take a last view on the fight, which was about to get lost behind the horizon, but we shortly got our attention to something BY FAR more frightening: a fucking Star Destroyer entering the atmosphere right above us, approaching the earths surface!!
this was by far the scariest  moment in all the dreams i ever had! not only because the thing was amazingly BIG, but think about the conclusion this sighting had: the Galactic Empire was real, in our time and dimension, and it was actually going to conquer OUR earth or shit like that. suddenly i – and everybody else – was facing an apocalyptic scenario with alien aggressive races trying to kill us, like in the movies, but for real!

what i also found a bit scary, even in the dream, was the fact how fast i adapted to this new view on reality. earth’s going to get fucked, nearly everybody is going to die, so be it. the relief it gave me was astonishing good, like it also ended all my current problems and every other problem of the world. everything else seemed to be so irrelevant minor in comparison to that, nothing really mattered anymore. it was a melancholic feeling, but i welcomed it.
but nethertheless was i scared of dying and had no clue on what to do to prevent my upcoming death.

we both ran back to the house, the star destroyer right above us, flying in the same direction. (site note: at this point i wasn’t anymore with my brother, but with some other, unknown person, which in THIS reality i was very fond of, or something).
we ran into a barn, looking for a place to hide. i was looking for an entrance that would lead to a cellar, because i thought it to be more safer there in case the ship would fire at everything in sight, destroying houses and such. but we could not really find anything.
when reaching the other side of the barn i could see through a crack in the wooden wall, spying on some weird looking foot troops or something approaching the barn from the rear. tho i could not recognize if they were Storm Troopers or some of the rebells searching for allies. but we could not take that chance and tried to hide in some straw.

from there on the dream gets kinda fuzzy in my memories, and i only remember bits.
i remember spotting the approaching troops and recognizing that they should be rebells, as the three of them were all form another alien race, but we did not know how to establish contact with them.
i remember meeting others who tried to hide, i remember watching more dog fights.
i remember finding my love interest (yet again, portrayed by a fictitious character), but having to leave here for some reason i can’t remember, leaving me behind, scared as shit and feeling all alone in a world that was crumbling around me, and most probably going to end anyways.
i remember discussing with a few people what we should do at the end of our lives. and we somehow decided to try to find a way home to finish one or the other movie that we always wanted to watch, smoke some weed and kinda try to enjoy everything as long as we could.

i remember getting back to the city. it was already night time, or kinda directly after sunset. everyone was at panic, crowds running and screaming, while above our heads dozens of fights took place, destroying each other and – to my surprise – even damaging houses and other structure from the city.

and that was basically it.
i don’t remember the last thing i dreamed about or how the invasion ended, if i survived, if i found my love interest or anything like this.
all in all this was a very profound dream, and i hate dreaming about stuff like this while in my real life actual stuff happens that leads to me dreaming shit like that. it makes everything seem even more fatal, than it actually is to me.
but i can’t control my subconscious.
i hate my subconscious.

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last modified: 2010-Nov-29, 20:06:52
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