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or: Who are you?

when it comes to peoples conception about what is real and what is not, we pretty much instantly always jump into a big bowl of potpourri, consisting of innumerous psychological, scientific, theological and physical questions. because it is just a complete mess of a topic, complicated far beyond humans comprehension.
plus, facing reality has ever been a deep problem of the humans entities in general. we are not designed to face the reality how it really is, hence we can’t. and at least the intelligent examples of human beings have accepted that fact. that we cannot get a grip on what REALLY is. and by this, who we are.

i recently tried to simplify my own personal view on this. if you know me you may already know how tight i hold to my perception that we do not know shit about ourself and reality. i take every fact as being “wrong”, but act as if it being “true” until disproven. but still i do not believe in their real value as being universally true. because i believe we humans can never know what is real, because we are humans are trapped inside those different layers of reality.

“the people layer”

most people stick to one notion of what they think is for real, and i broke it down to three different layers. all are existent, but a normal human being does not live by all of them, but by one of them. the people layer may be praised by most people, for some obvious reasons. (It’s the “people’s choice”)
it is the outer perception on how to view at us as living entities: how OTHERS see us. it is a genetic notion of us to be accepted and hailed to be the one and only best human being that we are (at least this is what our genes tell us). so it is natural for us to lay a lot of importance in what others think of us. this leads to the conception that we are what others see in us. we are the result of our actions.

this layer conciders the other human entities as equal entities, with an own point of view, but none is more or less right than the others. only problem is that considering that we are so many – what is ONE point of view worth if there are 10 billion of them?? and this is what we face against every day: people see something in you, that is not exactly what you think of yourself, but it is extremely important to us that people see in us the same good things that you see in yourself. but there are so many different points of view, and of course every single one of your friends thinks different of you. and even if you could reach a few thousand individuals during your lifespan to build up a positive belief in you, it isn’t worth shit considering the sheer mass of people that still don’t know you.

but, what is the “you” if you face such a big mass of opinions, anyway?
well, and here comes the catch: this layer doesn’t have quantity. the people layer does not see you as “one” being, nor as “many”. every single point of view has to be wrong, and the whole mass isn’t worth a penny, but nearer to what you are in your inside, but still far from being the same.
it is a hive. a… thing. that consists of a countless amounts of autonomous and/or conditioned entities, but that can only exist in its entirety. and you don’t wanna mess with a hive, because how can you possibly understand it.

“the personal layer”

this is where we live in.
from the outer layer we can only think of. we conceive what the outer layer possibly looks like by what others tell us about it, but we can NEVER be sure how it REALLY is. because our conscious can only exist in the personal layer.

and it is a double-edged sword. because what we do and what we think are two separate things. and we know this, for most of the cases.
well, of course we are well aware of the fact that we can choose on what to do and what not to, but still do not have any right of determination of what to think and belief, because everything you belief is true, IS true. at least that is what our brain only accepts us to belief. but still we can decide to do a different thing than we in our own mind think is best.
in most cases we act and think in harmony. we think for example, this is a dangerous situation, i better not participate in it. thinking and doing is in this case the same, and our self is clearly defined. but sometimes we act and don’t know why, and we may even accept that it is our subconscious playing with us and regulating us. but even though we only accept our own self to be what our CONSCIOUS mind tells us what we are. i do, hence i am. and that person is me. the one who thinks like me and acts like me.
in this layer you believe that it does not matter what others think of you. you accept that no one will EVER realize who you really are, but yourself. and even though you realized that there are other things having at least a bit of control of you, that doesn’t count. because it is you and you alone in the universe.

i find it interesting to see how different people try to either distinguish the act and the think sections from each other, or to join them together as tight as possible. like when you intentional regularly act different than you actually think. like for example when you try to lie for a friend. you know it’s wrong, but still you do it and accept that the outer layer will have a different conception of the you, than the inner one has. and the others, who try to join them, try to be loyal to themself and act upon their own principles in an open way. this is a way to make the outer and the inner layer appear more alike to each other. because when you only try to act as you think, you give in the illusion that this will give others a more REAL conception of what you are on the inside. how good one can reach this goal is a completely different topic.

“the subconscious layer”

and now we’re getting real deep into the topic. the subconscious layer is clearly the deepest of all the layers. hence, the more intelligent one person gets, the more he seems to be drawn into accepting this as the untouchable reality of himself.

and there is nothing quite wrong with that, but as we all know it is also the saddest way to interpret reality. it has something of a nihilistic spree around it, because you would have to try to accept that what we think of ourself is in fact nothing but an illusion, played out by our own mind, the traitor. facing this fact it is a wonder that people still try to investigate this topic in a scientific manner, because it is per definition not a matter of substance, and can never be fully grasped by us a human beings. because it is the SUBconsciousness. it plays with us and we can’t know it. as soon as we would become aware of it, it would not longer be the sub-consciousness.

but the layer still exists, if you like it or not. and it has a MAJOR effect on the inner layer!
we may know what we think, and hence act how we act, but in most cases we do not know why we think that way. and even if we can objectively reason why we decided to think that specific thought, we have already found another thought that we should have to reason in order to understand all. but it’s an endless chain of thoughts here, which for us isn’t more than a notion at some point. we most likely can’t get any further than a few levels of reason in our own thought process, and we don’t want or need more, because we trust us and our brain.
but this is a misperception. in fact, we don’t know of most of the things we think, why we think them. and even though we can face the fact that our subconscious is controlling us, we STILL keep on trusting our own perceptions. and we have to, it would otherwise be against our will of live. again, it’s in our genes.
and we would go crazy without the belief in our own impeccability.

but this layer is still pretty important. because no matter how you think of yourself or what others think of you, there will always be certain amounts of things that will stay on the inside and that have certain control of us. psychiatrists can help you to put the finger on some of them, making subconscious thoughts to be conscious ones, but this can only work with a very small amount of thoughts. because the brain isn’t build to understand itself and can never understand every inch of every corner of itself. but there is a “you” inside your brain that will never be seen by you or anyone else.

but still, the under layer, and also the other layers, DO existence. and all give us a different point of view on how to define our own entity as being alive and on how to comprehend on what is real and what is not. tho, big problem here is: every single one of them is right, but not in its entirety. if you try to accept all of them as equally right, then you don’t have a reality at all. or better said, than you have three different realities. and even though they interact with each other, they will for obvious reasons in every case be completely different.

and this is why we will never ever be able to understand what is real. hence also not what defines us as a living human entity. our self.
only thing left to do is starting to believe, or at least this seems to be the thing that our physical body wants us to do in order to cope with this big problem. and whatever the choice, may it be believing in us as souls, temporary energy out from space, god’s creation or simply a random project of nature’s temper – also those won’t ever be solved or proven.

give it up, reality is an illusion. sorry.

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last modified: 2010-Nov-29, 22:04:08
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